Thursday, October 20, 2011

The Pluto People [Part 2]

Beginning now, Part 2
Perhaps one can however set forth a positive agenda for happiness carrying it out stage by stage. Carrying out a plan designed for happiness even writing it down with the simple steps of 1,2,3 and proceeding to carry each out with little or no emotion will move one into a positive place of peace. Yes it might be considered impossible to "get over things" but one can most certainly "get on with it". I firmly believe there are mental states one can create that can work to alleviate the suffering of many dear folk. We can think of the great grief experienced with the loss of a loved one perhaps the greatest difficulty of all. What could be said or thought of to keep one's life from pining away in grief? I recall one particular approach in addressing the issue I considered truly inspired.

The grieving one would ask themselves the simple question...If their departed loved one were now present what would they say?  Does one really think they'd want their loved ones  the rest of their lives to be under a cloud of great sadness and grief or would they rather want them joyful and happy? Perhaps they'd say words like, "Look what happened, happened and there's no going back to change it! In no way do I want you forever unhappy so rise up, put a smile on your face and carry on!"  Isn't this or something similar what you'd say to your loved one?   In considering this I'd say we gain perspective as we begin to looking at the bigger picture and gain a new positive vision helping us to carry on.

Can one do away with all the sadness of some things that have occurred? Never in totality but can we open the door to a new vision and a new way of looking at things that can clear the mind and heart of never ending despair? I think so. If we're talking about the loss of a loved one never would they want us in a continual agitated state. Living out our existence as a "Pluto Person" is the furthest thing they'd want for us and it would break their hearts knowing that we'd do it. For their sake if not for ours we should never let that happen.

As stated there are an endless number of reasons and situations of life that can bring us to the place of considering oneself, "A Pluto Person." While it's not my intent to make my blog, 'Doctor Bob the Psychologist', I'd like  at times re-visit this "Pluto People" theme for I think the analogy is good---we can feel far separated from others when problems come. Stay tuned for other future times where we'll look at "The Pluto People" again!  I trust you'll find it encouraging.

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Sunday, October 16, 2011

The Pluto People [Part 1]

Lonely, separated and disconnected with normal people in the real world.  Feeling wiped out, set back and removed. Does anything matter anymore and will the sunshine of joy, happiness and peace ever find my way again?  No I'm not writing concerning my own present experience but having lived in this world some 54 years, I like everyone have seen my share of problems and difficulties, minor and major. Catastrophic problems? I'd say a couple of times with the loss of my father and father-in-law  dying  many years back within a short time of each other. Outside of that I wouldn't consider  my problems as having been too severe.  Others may not have been near as fortunate.

Life may have dealt you a hand you consider most unbearable. It may be the loss of a loved one or perhaps something different like the loss of a career. Your doctor may have just informed you of some very disturbing news concerning a medical condition and the prognosis is concerning. The moment you heard of it, regardless of the problem you felt separated, disconnected and removed from what I'll call, "the normal people".  These are the many ones who seem to have their lives all together.

In contrast lets look at those I've defined as, "The Pluto People".  For sure I'm speaking metaphorically but Pluto in our solar system is the furthest planet away  approximately, 2.7 billion miles from the earth. It could be said to be far separated and alone and using it as a comparison for people, it would be such ones, who because of major or castastrophic  circumstances feel a sense of utter isolation.  They live in the midst  of "normal people" whose lives run tro and fro who carry on their normal course of action.  The Pluto people however have a sense of being numbed out, frozen in time, existing it would seem as mere spectators watching life go by. Their constant wonderment is to whether a smile will light their face again.

Realistically how does one get over something which seemingly is inconceivable to do so?  You need to, "get over it" is the advice dished out by some. I'd contend that even the best skilled and psychologically equipped individuals proficient in dealing with issues, could never "get over" certain things and perhaps no one should be encouraged to try. I liken it in a similar way to one suffering insomnia. The more one tries to get to sleep the more it seems to elude them. If one relaxes however and gets their mind off the "trying" sits back, relaxe oneself...they fall asleep. Desperately "trying to" can create stress moving us away from a place of comfort or acceptance we'd like to have. Instead of seeking to "get over" whatever, perhaps a real solution should be rather to "get on with it".  We'll deal with that on my next blog  to come.

To read Part 2 of : "The Pluto People" , please click on link,>>

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