Tuesday, February 28, 2012

The Man Who Changed His Name To : "Politically Correct"

I know a man who changed his name to "Politically Correct". He did this so he’d never forget who and what he was. His relatives thought he’d disgraced them having rejected the family name but regardless he wanted to do the right and proper thing. By changing his name to “Politically Correct” he knew it would remind him never to fail at being scrupulous and relating things in the most suitable unoffensive way. 

Never would he fall into the slips of the tongue of lesser men, as calling a delivery person a mailman not considering they may be of the female gender. The family of P.C. even suggested to him that “Politically Correct” might even have been a term derived from the Communists where they referred to the “party line” or the line which is correct.   P.C. threw caution to the wind believing a world without offending any bodies’ sensitivities had to be the right way to go. 

A day came however when what were considered by some as “real bad people” came to the country. Their intent was to annihilate and destroy the people of the land. Politically Correct strongly asserted they not be termed “bad” but rather define them as not being too upright or virtuous in character. That would leave room to consider they had a degree of goodness but that it just needed slightly more developed. 

They were probably good at heart, he reasoned, and they probably just needed some positive direction. He also wrote a letter to major media outlets insisting that they stop publishing the description of some of these not too nice characters less they offend those of similar appearance. From this point on they should keep all descriptions of the bad people as colour neutral which meant no longer saying they were black, red, yellow or whatever but have it put it down as  “Non-Whites”.  

Some considered P.C. a genius and gave him the “Nobel Peace Prize” which delighted him no end. One problem began to develop however. People couldn’t quite figure out just what“non-whites” were responsible in seeking to plot the demise of the good people of the land. Finally they gave up trying to know so as not to be condemned as insensitive.

This way of thinking taking hold on the people was all the Grey-Blue Bad People needed in order to carry out their dastardly deeds and wreak destruction on the land. They even captured Politically Correct and took him to their grey and blue world where they locked him in stocks.

In their town square he was mocked and ridiculed, caring not one iota for any of his sensitivities to his last dying day. At times they wondered if they were being merciless, and cruel but then concluded it was P.C. that opened the door to the destroyers. To feel sorry for him might possibly make them as Politically Correct as he. 

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Monday, February 20, 2012

The Scary Thing Under The Bed!!

She saw it! Fran Reynolds was in that intermediate stage between sleep and consciousness but she beheld it entering the room and what a terrifying experience it was! All had been quite, the time--around three a.m. The nightlight in the hall allowed her to see the clear silhouette of this night time invader.
No it wasn't human and it surely didn't belong to this home!  What a strange looking creature it was, a relatively small body making it's way across the floor---but it's head incredibly big---the like she'd never seen before. The whole thing lasted mere seconds, fast and quick not enough time to even focus on the shadowy creature! 
It darted under her bed...and then her beloved cat CHELO let out a shriek. Poor, Chelo! This thing, this unknown creature of the night...was attacking her. How horribly unfair can you get!
Fran let out a scream, calling out frantically to her husband Bill laying sound asleep.
"Bill! Bill! Bill! There's something....something.....something under the bed! It doesn't... doesn't..... belong here!!!! What is it!!! Something, something, something!" Fran pushed out of her terrified soul, barely able to speak.
Chills ran down both of their spines as Bill jumped out of the bed functioning on pure adrenaline. Flicking on the light Fran pulled back the covers from off the bed and they cautiously peaked underneath feeling great trepidation of what they might find. Their fear gave in to anger as soon as the light fell upon the culprit.
No, there was not two creatures under the bed...only one...only one. It was their beloved cat CHELO.
"Chelo!!!" they exclaimed.
Apparently she'd got her head stuck in a super big grocery bag and had began to panic running around the house. The creature with the huge head lunging under the bed was none other then her!
Chelo gave a look at Fran, the type of look which seemed to say, "Sorry Mom. I got my head stuck in this thing in the middle of the night and didn't know what to do!" The mystery of "The-Unknown-Scary-Creature-In-The-Middle-Of-The-Night"...SOLVED.
Special Note:  This is a true story!  The names have been changed to protect the innocent.  I'll say one thing though the picture of the grey cat under the bed sure looks a lot like our grey cat Zola! ;)

Oh one last thing! You might enjoy my FREE 30 minute audio short story I put on Youtube, which I entitled, "Checkered Flag Moon!" Just click on the following link below,

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